Thinking about love

For a while now I have been coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed. 
I have been reminded that every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.

My best quality I would say is that I have a big heart. I have had a blind heart, falling into people who aren’t right for me. 
Perhaps a stubborn heart, refusing to walk away from relationships, friendships, situations, even the ones bringing me down.
Sometimes a naïve heart, thinking that love can save people from brokenness, or fix problems. 
I have a big heart, but I’m no fool. I try to love without expectations, to give without demanding something in return, how to put others first.
I strive towards that daily. But when I am standing there, open-armed and vulnerable, and I receive nothing back—I know how to say goodbye.
I know I can love without conditions. I can be selfless and honest and open with the thoughts in my mind. I can fight for people, for relationships, for friendships…for love. But when I see that the other person is no longer fighting back, no longer defending me, no longer standing by my side—I have learned now how to let go. See, having a big heart doesn’t mean I allow myself to get stepped on.

So often we love people who are different than us. That old saying, ‘opposites attract,’ is in fact very true. We’re unconsciously drawn to what we don’t understand, to the ways we don’t actually live, to pieces of us that we see in another but cannot quite embody in ourselves.
And so we fall into people who are vastly different, yet somehow completely compatible. Because they are the loud to our soft, the tender to our tough, the calm to our wild, the jagged edges to our round ones.
And though we don’t always fit, we learn to compromise—And isn’t that what love truly is? A little give, a little take?
But love is not trying to desperately make someone change. To take all the parts that make them unique, and squeezing them into a little bottle, keeping them contained. Love is not wishing thoughts into another person’s head. It is not forcing someone to be, to feel, to become what they are inherently not.

Love is finding a middle ground. Love is learning. Love is balance and making concessions and trading off and learning to agree, or to agree-to-disagree.

Love is loving him enough to do the things that he wants to do, even if they don’t always coincide with your deepest desires. But love is when he does the same in return.
Love is fighting for your side, but settling sometimes—settling for a compromise, settling for not always having your way, settling for happiness over personal pride.
Love is not asking someone to be who they are not. It is not demanding. It is not spending all of your days wishing your partner was someone else—a little more, a little less.
Love is when he listens, when he understands, when he wants, so much, to see a smile across your face that he will do anything to find a happy medium between you two. And you will do the same.

The love you deserve will not be brimming with uncertainties. Love knows who it wants and why. Love will be sure, sure of you.

The love you deserve will not make you feel bad about yourself. 
Love will not belittle you. Love will not judge you or your past. Instead love will accept you, despite of your cracks. Love will recognize your issues and will listen to your anxieties and every single thing that goes on in your head – all your sentiments, worries and fears – and love will be eager to hear every single one of them. Love will never make you question if you’ll ever be good enough.

The love you deserve will prioritize you. Love will not be selfish.
The love you deserve will respect you one hundred percent.
All your ideas, beliefs, attributes, plans and aspirations. Love will always see the best in you. Love will welcome you with open arms. Love will not discourage you, your dreams or wishful thinking. Love will support you all out in whatever you yearn to do, love will motivate you and will perpetually whisper in your ear that you can be the person you’ve always longed to be.

The love you deserve will be striking in its simplicity and it will find you. It will.

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